safe and sound
by doodlechick12
Summary: The one in which Stefan is cursed by a witch, leaving Damon floundering on how to take care of a baby. Season 3 Era: After "All My Children" but before "1912."


Set sometime during season 3, after _All My Children_, but before _1912_.

Warnings: I do not advocate babies riding in cars without car seats. Or some of Damon's other questionable behavior.

* * *

**safe and sound**

"_I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said, "I'll never let you go"  
When all those shadows almost killed your light  
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes_  
_The sun is going down_  
_You'll be alright_  
_No one can hurt you now_  
_Come morning light_  
_You and I'll be safe and sound"_

_-Taylor Swift_

* * *

When Damon woke up it was like any other day in Mystic Falls; he turned on the news, listened to a new "animal attack," wished Elena were his, and heard Stefan working out in his bedroom.

Only . . . not.

He couldn't hear Stefan that morning, which was surprising, seeing as he played loud music while he did a number of exercises in his bedroom before he got a shower and then dressed in the morning. Curious, but worried, Damon walked into Stefan's bedroom.

And he stared.

Damon stared.

And

Didn't

Stop

Staring

The tiny human being glowered at didn't react besides blinking its big shiny eyes and gumming on the white tee shirt that was pooled around it along with boots, socks, boxers, and a pair of blue jeans on Stefan's bed. It didn't have much hair, but what it did have was fine and pale blonde that would turn darker to a light brown by the time he would be seventeen.

"Stefan is a baby," Damon tried out the words. They didn't sound right coming out of his mouth. "Stefan's been turned into a small baby." Those didn't sound any better.

"Stefan's been turned in an infant by some witch probably employed by Klaus."

The baby – Stefan, it had to be Stefan, it couldn't be anyone else, no one else had those eyes – started to wail, which Damon had a vague memory of being unusual because Stefan had been a quiet, content baby. Nonetheless, Stefan had opened his toothless mouth to stop gumming on his own tee shirt and wail horrible, screechy noises at Damon's person.

Not giving into the instinctive urge to clap his hands onto his ears, Damon stepped forward and scooped Stefan up. He made sure what was left of Stefan's dignity was preserved – he wrapped the tee shirt around his little body.

Stefan didn't stop crying.

"What do want?" Damon asked him, scrutinizing the child.

Stefan wailed.

Damon sighed and pulled his little brother close to him, letting his small face rest against his slowly beating heart.

The crying stuttered and then turned to hiccups a moment later. Surprised, Damon lifted Stefan back up to face level, but the baby started to shriek as soon as the contact ended. Disgruntled but wanting to be able to hear later in his un-life, Damon set Stefan back onto his chest and pulled his leather jacket farther around him for heat.

The little body was flush with warmth and Damon could hear and feel Stefan's erratic heart beat flutter against his own slow pulse. Worried, but trying not to be, Damon looked down at his little brother. Stefan's mouth was open and mouthing the air with a discontent frown on his face.

"I can see where your future frown lines will be on your forehead," Damon informed him seriously, "And I can now see that this habit you have? The frowning one – it clearly started in the womb." Stefan turned his head and gummed on Damon's shirt.

"No," Damon said sternly, "No. What are you doing? No, stop that." He gently pushed Stefan's face away from gnawing on his shirt. Stefan started to sniffle.

"You're hungry?" Damon half stated and Stefan's sniffles started to turn into whimpers. "Definitely hungry."

He started towards the kitchen and then paused. "Do I feed you blood or milk? Do I use store bought milk or formula? Do I find a girl to lactate?" He stared at Stefan who seemed to be thinking, 'How the hell should I know? You're the adult.'

"Do you eat solid food yet?" Damon inquired and then felt stupid. He carried Stefan with him and went to the laptop he hardly ever used and logged on with Stefan balanced on one knee. Damon went to a search engine and typed in food for babies.

He got 267,000,000 results, much of that being about homemade baby food. He searched around until he came across a website that said it depended on the age of the child. Damon took a good look a Stefan and his big, clear green eyes and his toothless mouth. He was wiggling around in Damon's lap irritatingly, flinging his arms and legs about.

Damon looked back at the screen.

He looked at Stefan.

"You look almost five months old," He decided, "I remember you were always a bit small until your growth spurt when you were thirteen. And I'm still talking to a baby who can't understand me." Damon looked back on the screen and found that babies Stefan's age would need formula and some soft baby food.

"The store it is, then," Damon said and nodded decisively. He turned back around and grabbed an afghan off the couch and walked outside to his car. Balancing Stefan in the crook of one arm, the blanket thrown over the other, Damon balanced until he could unlock his car and open the passenger side.

He debated for about five seconds and then set Stefan on the hood of the car. "Stay," Damon commanded, pointing a finger at him. "Stay."

Stefan made a noise that suspiciously sounded like "goo."

Damon arranged the afghan in the front seat until it was like a nest and then he pulled Stefan off the hood and set him in the center of the nest of blankets. He stared at his little brother for a moment.

"Seat beat," Damon decided and buckled the seat belt across Stefan's little body. Then, he walked around the side of the car and got inside. Damon started the car and kept shooting little glances at Stefan, who was now wailing once more, and the road.

He arrived at Mystic Falls' lonely Wal-Mart, which was not his usual haunt. Damon didn't want people thinking he'd had an illegitimate child, after all, so he couldn't go somewhere where he'd likely be recognized. He pulled out one of the buggies and set Stefan in the child seat part in the front with his blankets and pushed it into the store.

Damon garnered some odd glances, but that was a given, so he plowed on to the children and babies section. He grabbed a few onesies and some shirts and pants that seemed acceptable. He grabbed a pair of little shoes and some socks, bottles and Sippy Cups, along with pacifiers and blankets, and diapers and wipes.

Damon was about to go to the food aisle when he saw it.

A baby sized leather jacket that was nearly identical to one Damon had owned in the 80s.

"No . . ." Damon grabbed it and pretended to act casual, lest someone think he was a crazy, doting parent, and departed for the baby food aisle.

He look pushed the cart along and saw that Stefan was getting fussier and red in the face from his sniffling and crying. Damon decided to grab any brand of formula that caught his eye, which happened to be something called _Enfamil_. Someone behind him gasped and tsked noisily. Damon turned around slowly to see a stern looking blonde woman with lines around her brown eyes. She glowered at Damon and pointed to the formula.

"What are you thinking?"

Damon arched an eyebrow. "I'm thinking that I'm buying my brother some baby formula."

"You can't get _Enfamil_," The woman was aghast.

"Why not?" Damon asked blankly.

"Everyone knows that _Baby's Only Organic Dairy Formula_ is the best thing for growing children," The woman scolded.

"I didn't," Damon said, quirking his lips into a mockery of a smile.

"Well," The woman sniffed, "you have your _brother,_" the emphasis she put on 'brother' made it clear she though Damon was an irresponsible parent rather than an older brother, "wrapped up in blankets like you've kidnapped him or something. I don't think you're making the best choices here."

Damon's lips thinned into a straight line. "Thanks for the advice, but I think I'd rather go with what I've picked out, thanks." He brushed passed the lady and felt like being petty, so he made sure that he bumped her cart into a cardboard advertisement trying to sell teddy bears.

He went down the other baby food aisle and grabbed some simple things for children Stefan's age and made quickly paid and left the store before anyone could see him.

Unfortunately, life hates Damon.

"Damon? I didn't think you shopped here."

Damon froze and looked over his shoulder at Sheriff Liz Forbes holding onto a buggy. "What have you got there?" She continued.

"Watching a baby for a friend got to go," Damon muttered and sped passed. It wasn't until he got to the car did he realize he hadn't bought a car seat.

"It's like you'll be a baby long," Damon muttered to reassure himself. He loaded the bags into the back and then put an extremely fussy Stefan into the same set up they'd had going to Wal-Mart. Damon hurried home and finagled with the onesie until he figured out how to use it. Then he put a diaper on Stefan and then put the onesie on over it.

"Okay, time for food," Damon said to an outright screaming Stefan now. Stefan's face was beet red and his little heart was beating too fast to be normal, Damon was sure. He set out and read the directions on the formula and made the bottle.

Two bottles later, and half of the formula stuck to the ceiling of the microwave in a mushy mess, Damon put the bottle in Stefan's mouth. He waited with bated breath until Stefan relaxed and closed his eyes, suckling furiously on the bottle.

Damon sighed with relief and sank down into a chair and held Stefan to his chest. If anyone asked, Damon would vehemently deny cuddling with Stefan.

Vehemently.

Once the bottle was finished, Stefan pushed it away with his pudgy hand and he yawned widely. He gave Damon a gummy grin that Damon was hard pressed to not return. He found a blanket and swaddled Stefan in it and soon his brother was fast asleep.

"Now," Damon said, "Time to find a witch. Better go to Elena's. And I_ really_ need to stop talking to myself."

They arrived at Elena's in relatively good time, but Blondie's car was in the driveway, blocking Damon from parking there.

"Damn it. If my car gets clipped because it's parked on the curb, I'm going to murder Blondie and send the body to Klaus," Damon grumbled, but parked on the curb next to Elena's mailbox despite his self. Stefan started up crying again and Damon hopped out of the car and ran around to the other side and pulled Stefan out, who immediately stopped crying once he was situated in Damon's arms above his heart.

Damon walked up to the Gilbert's front stoop and forewent the doorbell; he let himself inside. He could hear people in the living room, but all movement and happy talking froze as soon as Damon called out a loud greeting.

Damon walked into the entryway to the living room and spied the whole gang looking to have been lounging about a second before. Now they were all tense and staring at him. Tyler was sitting next to Matt on the couch, Caroline across from them on the floor next to an armchair in which Bonnie was sitting; Jeremy was standing before the boys' couch, and finally, Elena, who was standing from her previous spot she'd been seated at. She walked across the room in the silence

"What do you want, Damon?" Elena asked and the exasperation was clear in her voice. Her brown hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and she was wearing a blood red shirt and some dark blue jeans. Neither left a whole lot to the imagination.

"I actually need Judgy to assist me with something of the utmost importance," Damon drawled and shifted his weight on his feet.

"Damon," Elena sighed tiredly and pinched the bridge of her nose. She said quietly, "You just turned Bonnie's mother into a vampire. She really doesn't want to see you right now." Indeed, Bonnie was glowering viciously at Damon.

Damon adjusted Stefan in his jacket and Elena caught the movement.

"What do you need Bonnie for?" Elena asked, eyes narrowing.

"Well . . ." Damon unzipped his leather jacket, revealing Stefan's blinking green eyed face, "Someone turned Stef into a five month old baby. Kinda wondered if she could turn him back for me."

After a moment of silence, everyone erupted into shouts. Stefan started to scream and Elena tried to wrangle him away from Damon's hold. The vampire warded her off and soothed Stefan and the child quieted quickly. Damon saw everyone looked at him with mouths agape.

Gruffly, he said, "What? I can't be nice to my own little brother when he's been cursed?"

"Let me see him," Bonnie said reluctantly and walked over. She glared at Damon, but examined Stefan, who played with Bonnie's curly hair. Caroline and Elena hovered, awing at the happy noises Stefan made in Damon's protective embrace.

"I can sense some residential magic on him," Bonnie admitted, "But whoever it was, they were powerful. I can't reverse it myself, but it seems like it will disperse on its own." After one last glance at little Stefan, Bonnie went back to her seat. Matt and Tyler watched as Caroline and Elena cooed over Stefan.

"How is that even when he's not himself, he still gets the attention?" Tyler grumped to himself, but Matt heard him and chuckled.

Damon took a giggling Stefan away from a cheerful Caroline and said, "Well, that's enough of Show and Tell. Thanks for nothing, Judgy and friends, but I've got to get Stefan back home. Have fun . . . doing whatever it is that you were doing." He split before any of the girls could snatch Stef back into their arms and climbed into his car again.

He drove home to the Boarding House and carrying Stefan around in the crook of his arm, went in search of one of the toys for him. Damon found a little dragon and Stefan's eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. He latched onto the animal and started to gnaw on its nose.

Damon shrugged and couldn't help the wince at the sanitation issues he could see coming.

"You'd better not become sick on me," Damon warned but Stefan just made a happy noise, so Damon left him to it.

The rest of the day passed in a weird dream state; it didn't feel real as Damon went through the motions in caring for his helpless brother. He fed him and burped him, and even got spit up on.

"Now that is just nasty," Damon wrinkled his nose at the smell as he held Stefan away from his body. Stefan frowned at the lack of contact and opened his mouth to start wailing again. "No, don't do that," Damon almost moaned.

He took Stefan and some of his clothes and jogged up to his bedroom, where he proceeded to give Stefan a bath. The baby shrieked happily and played with the bubbles Damon used, making the older man smile briefly.

He scooped him out of the sink and towel dried Stefan, and then put him into another of the outfits he'd bought.

"There. Time for bed." Damon carried Stefan over to his bed and set him on top of the covers. He flashed up to their attic, sure that there had to be crib somewhere up there, and lo and behold, there was.

It was a wreck; the wood was chipped and stained, and it appeared as if some termites had gotten it. Damon growled and flashed back to his bedroom to find Stefan beginning to roll off the side of the bed.

"No!" Damon got there just in time to glare sternly at the baby who looked up at Damon innocently. He dressed into his own sleep clothes (his underwear) and then made something of a nest for Stefan to lie in comfortably for the night on the bed.

He settled Stefan in and then laid down and closed his eyes. Damon started to drift . . .

Stefan started to cry.

Damon cracked one eye open to glare.

"What is it now?" He whined.

Stefan sniffled and reached for Damon with his pudgy arms and Damon groaned. He picked Stefan up and settled him on top of his chest. Stefan snuggled and went straight to sleep.

Damon groaned and knew that he'd have to stay up to make sure Stefan didn't suffocate or get smashed in his sleep.

"This only happens in Mystic Falls," Damon muttered to himself, "Not even that. This shit only happens to us."

* * *

The baby was warm and content. His awareness was limited, but he knew that the Big One protected him and kept his warm and full. Big One liked to make funny noises and that were high pitched when he didn't want to do something, he noticed.

And Big One had taken him to see Others, but they didn't feel as safe as Big One did, so he made sure they all knew that he wanted to be with Big One only.

They rode in a giant thing that Baby wasn't sure was, but it made nice rocking motions so it was okay. The Outside was bright and loud, and so, so Big. He liked it.

But he liked Big One's soft bed more, where he stayed close to Big One and be warm and happy and safe. But most of all, Baby just really, really liked Big One.

Big One made funny babbling noises at Baby, and he said one thing only once, but Big One said it in a not-high-pitched sound – it was really warm, like the milk he'd eaten earlier.

"I love you, Stefan."

Baby liked those words.

* * *

Damon woke up the next morning to a mass of a person next to him, much larger than his usual sleeping partners. He opened his eyes and saw . . . Stefan. Older Stefan.

"Gah!" Damon tripped out of his bed, startling Stefan, who jumped up as well, dragging the blanket and covering his nether regions.

"Thank God you're back," Damon almost said. Instead, he shouted, "Now I have to wash that blanket!"

Stefan flushed but didn't drop the covering. Damon was glad.

"Um. What happened?"

* * *

There is no excuse for this. I like de-aging fics and brought it to my favorite fandom. Please review.


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